Tag Archives: cult classic

When You Know It’s Terrible…

… Why do you still anticipate it? Netflix is about to deliver Birdemic to our doorstep. I already know this is one of the most notoriously bad films of the last few years. Yet somehow I can’t wait to watch it. I’m even going to have my notebook, so that I don’t miss a thing. A crossover show with Subject: Cinema (subjectcinema.com) is in the works, which makes it all worth it.

Yep, It’s That Bad

The movie Troll 2 is widely considered one of the worst movies ever. Having finally sat through it with Amber yesterday, I’m here to confirm that yep, it’s fairly horrible. Beyond the obvious bullet point of having no trolls in the movie, I have to mention both the mother and daughter’s performances as being particularly horrendous. If you’ve not watched them perform, be prepared. They are so amazingly bad that it’s painful. I can’t wait to watch Best Worst Movie, the documentary about this mess of a film.

Pure Cheese: Barbarella (1968)

Film: Barbarella
Stars: Jane Fonda, John Phillip Law, Anita Pallenberg, various odd people

As much a costume display as a movie, Barbarella features some of the oddest characters you’re likely to see on screen. No matter the quality of the film, Jane Fonda is incredibly sexy. Her striptease during the opening credits makes it all worthwhile.

Pure Cheese: The Rocky Horror Picture Show (1975)

Movie: The Rocky Horror Picture Show
Stars: Tim Curry, Susan Sarandon, Barry Bostwick, Richard O’Brien

The quintessential cult film, Rocky Horror was a staple on the midnight show circuit for ages. I’ve never brought props to one of these shows, nor have I even seen the movie at a theater. Even at home, though, the fromage fountains from the screen. I’m not one to obsess over a soundtrack I consider very dated, but the sheer silliness of everything is infectious and fun.

Pure Cheese: Flash Gordon (1980)

Film: Flash Gordon
Stars: Sam L. Jones, Melody Anderson, Max von Sydow, Topol, Timothy Dalton, Ornella Muti

A glorious mess of clunky dialog and shimmering metallic costuming, Flash Gordon plays much like an 80s version of Barbarella. Worth watching for odd alien races alone, it approaches everything with a wink and nod. For an odd comparison, watch Max von Sydow in this film, and then in 1973’s The Exorcist. It was filmed seven years earlier, yet von Sydow looks much older!

Pure Cheese: The Beastmaster (1982)

Film: The Beastmaster
Stars: Marc Singer, Tanya Roberts, Rip Torn, John Amos

A blast from my childhood, The Beastmaster is a glorious hunk of fantasy film cheese, topped with ferrets. It’s the story of baby-oiled Dar and Kiri (and Dar’s animal companions), and their quest for revenge on a nasty priest. I was borderline obsessed with Tanya Roberts back then, and thanks to the days of PG-rated nudity, I wasn’t disappointed. Thank you, Beastmaster!