… Why do you still anticipate it? Netflix is about to deliver Birdemic to our doorstep. I already know this is one of the most notoriously bad films of the last few years. Yet somehow I can’t wait to watch it. I’m even going to have my notebook, so that I don’t miss a thing. A crossover show with Subject: Cinema (subjectcinema.com) is in the works, which makes it all worth it.
The movie Troll 2 is widely considered one of the worst movies ever. Having finally sat through it with Amber yesterday, I’m here to confirm that yep, it’s fairly horrible. Beyond the obvious bullet point of having no trolls in the movie, I have to mention both the mother and daughter’s performances as being particularly horrendous. If you’ve not watched them perform, be prepared. They are so amazingly bad that it’s painful. I can’t wait to watch Best Worst Movie, the documentary about this mess of a film.
Stars: Jane Fonda, John Phillip Law, Anita Pallenberg, various odd people
As much a costume display as a movie, Barbarella features some of the oddest characters you’re likely to see on screen. No matter the quality of the film, Jane Fonda is incredibly sexy. Her striptease during the opening credits makes it all worthwhile.
Film: Big Trouble in Little China
Stars: Kurt Russell, Kim Cattrall, Dennis Dun, James Hong, Victor Wong
John Carpenter went a little loopy with this movie, and I love every second of it. Kurt Russell as a truck driver? Check. Ancient Chinese sorcerer? Check. Floating eyeball spy? Check. Inflatable villain? Check. What’s not to like?
Movie: The Rocky Horror Picture Show
Stars: Tim Curry, Susan Sarandon, Barry Bostwick, Richard O’Brien
The quintessential cult film, Rocky Horror was a staple on the midnight show circuit for ages. I’ve never brought props to one of these shows, nor have I even seen the movie at a theater. Even at home, though, the fromage fountains from the screen. I’m not one to obsess over a soundtrack I consider very dated, but the sheer silliness of everything is infectious and fun.
Film: Flash Gordon
Stars: Sam L. Jones, Melody Anderson, Max von Sydow, Topol, Timothy Dalton, Ornella Muti
A glorious mess of clunky dialog and shimmering metallic costuming, Flash Gordon plays much like an 80s version of Barbarella. Worth watching for odd alien races alone, it approaches everything with a wink and nod. For an odd comparison, watch Max von Sydow in this film, and then in 1973’s The Exorcist. It was filmed seven years earlier, yet von Sydow looks much older!
How best to describe this hairy… thing worn and stripped from by Ugo Tognazzi? Bad Bigfoot? Cheesy Chewbacca? The only thing fuzzier than the costume is Ugo himself once he’s disrobed. Yikes!
When it comes to notoriously bad costuming, you can’t get much more famous than Ro-Man. The poster child for all things Z-grade in science fiction, he sets the standard for gorilla-suited guys with rabbit-eared helmets. Bonus points should be given for having the character use a bubble machine to communicate with his alien commanders.